People sometimes ask us, should they consider changing lawyers? 

We give them a list of warning signs.  You probably need a new lawyer if:

	During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you Amway products.
	He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser.
	When the opposing lawyers see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
	He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
	During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy.
	He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."
	A prison guard is shaving your head.
	Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and drinks a shot.
	He frequently gives Juror No. 4 the finger.
	He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
	He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."
	He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
	Just before trial begins, he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
	When he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
	The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25."
	Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
	He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs." (See our other Cool Stuff.)